by: Michael Cheney

I was walking along the beach front this week with the warm sunshine in my face. You would think I'd be happy right? Wrong! I was absolutely raging mad!

Why?

Because I can't stop thinking about people the world over who are turning into Killer Google Zombies!

Don't forward this email onto people of a nervous disposition because I really can't restrain myself any longer.

Picture the scene if you will...

[A conversation last week though it could be this week or the next - it happens all the time...]

Anon: "We want lots of people to find our website but it doesn't seem to be happening for some reason."

Michael: "Can you tell me some of the methods you've been using to market your website?"

Anon: "Well really we're just waiting for Google to update and then we'll be fine. Once that happens our problems will be over."

Michael: "What else are you doing to market your website?"

Anon: "There isn't anything else you can do is there?"

[Michael slaps head..]

**In Search Of The Holy Google Grail

Yes - it's the attack of the Killer Google Zombies. People that think Google IS the Internet. Google is not the Internet. Google is not the search engines. Google is one search engine. That's all.

There are millions of Killer Google Zombies out there right now just staring at Google looking to see whether they are ranked on page 124 or 125. Wasting their energy, efforts and life in pursuit of the Holy Google Grail - The Number One Ranking...

**The Single Best Way To Get Customers To Your Website

If there is one single and most-important fact I have learned in the past 9 years about how to get customers to your website it is this:

There is no one single way!!!!

If you're looking for the 'magic bullet', the 'ultimate secret', the 'hidden treasure' or any other cheese-tastic analogy that you care to mention - forget it. Stop looking for that one "killer way to explode your website's traffic levels over night" - it doesn't exist.

You need to start seeing the wider picture and leaving the Google Zombies to it. You need to try other search engines, try links, try online advertising, try developing partnerships with other websites, try viral marketing techniques, try dispersing your message on other people's networks, try creating multiple websites for different niches, try an affiliate programme, try getting listed in directories, try launching an email marketing campaign and try tattooing your website address onto your forehead.

Whatever you do please promise me you will try lots of different things and not turn into a Killer Google Zombie!

Michael Cheney

Redding police still looking for alleged kidnapper (The Record Searchlight)

Redding police are still looking for a man suspected of forcing an 18-year-old woman into a car at the Darkside Tattoo parking lot in downtown on Monday and driving off with her after an argument.Several witnesses told officers they saw Jerry Hamilton, 23, of Redding, try to push the woman into a gold Mercedes, get into the car and start driving, dragging the woman along as she struggled to ...

What we hold in our hands (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

(Third of three parts)

Customer greeted with malware on Vodafone-issued HTC Magic (good thing it's discontinued) (Engadget)

Crapware's bad enough, but having your life torn asunder simply by plugging in that shiny new (insert USB-connected device here) is an exciting new trend -- viruses find their way into the darnedest places, don't they? It seems an employee at anti-malware firm Panda Research who'd ordered a new Magic off Vodafone UK's site was greeted with no fewer than three nefarious executables upon plugging ...

Tier III sex offender hasn't registered (Fremont News-Messenger)

FREMONT -- The Sandusky County Sheriff's Office is trying to find Darron Newell, who has failed to register as a Tier III sexual offender.

Travel Postcard: 48 hours in Hollywood (People's Daily)

&$ &$ It's been half a century since Hollywood's Golden Age and once again, Tinseltown is aiming to recapture its former glamour and magic. Tattoo parlors, trashy souvenir shops and bleary-eyed lost souls still line Hollywood Boulevard. But with the Oscars now firmly entrenched in the district that is in the midst of a $1 billion, 30-year redevelopment, many locals are hoping its heading back to ...

“We are increasingly all Alices, trying to make sense of a shifting world in which the boundary between reality and ... (The Shorthorn)

Both stories follow Alice as she tries to find her way back to her reality after crossing into an imaginative world where caterpillars smoke hookah and playing cards walk and talk.

Devildriver’s Dez Fafara: “I Won’t Tattoo My Penis. I’m Italian, So It’s Huge” (Metal Hammer)

Hammer asks Devildriver some probing questions, and get more than we bargained for: “If you can’t find somewhere to shit, you take a shit in a bag then you throw it out of the bus. It’s a horrendous way to live…” Read the rest!

David Beckham’s tattoo timeline: A history of the English footballer's body-art (Daily Mirror)

With sleeve tattoos taking over both arms and numerous designs fighting for space across his torso, David Beckham’s commitment to body-art would make a veteran Hell’s Angel proud.

David Beckham censors his tattoo of Cupid and Psyche (Daily Mirror)

David Beckham bares a new Renaissance-inspired tattoo – but proves he’s no art buff.

Film Review: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Film Journal)

The stark, frozen expanse of the Swedish countryside, the setting for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo , presages a long investigation into the disappearance and apparent death of heiress Harriet Vanger—but an ice age unfolds before Harriet’s (Ewa Fröling) secret is revealed.

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